Waist is a waste of time

Waist is a waste of time

Statutory Warning:

All characters, places, events in this act are imaginary, including me

The amount of time we spend on our waist is a lot;

Putting efforts to reduce it,

Making sure it doesn’t gain back, and rarest of the rare

Wanting to increase it

This rarest of rare case is mine.

I joined Equinox 5 years ago, at that time my waist size was 28”

I completed one year and my annual appraisal was due.

So appraisal form filing-appraisal interview-increment letter-revised salary credited to your account

And it was time for shopping…..

So I went to ‘Cotton King’.

The salesman there immediately greeted me “Hello Sir, how may I help you?”

I told him “I want to buy a pair of formal clothes”

“OK” he said. “Let us try the trousers first”, and he asked me the most fundamental question,“What is your waist size?”

& I said “28”.

He immediately borrowed a measuring tape from his colleague and there it was, it read 30”. I tried and it was a perfect fit.

At first I was shocked, but slowly I became pleasantly happy.

For years I have been trying to gain weight, but was not able to do so.

Still to double check I went to the nearby “Brand Factory” store and tried a size 30” Jeans.

It was true.

Fast Forward one more year and it was time for the annual ritual…
appraisal form filing-appraisal interview-increment letter-revised salary credited to your account-shopping….

It is not that I go shopping only once a year when the increment is done but….

How many of you have done shopping on the day or next day of your revised salary credited….it is such a unique feeling….isn’t it? I spend almost 50% of the arrears on shopping. I feel I deserve it.

I had got married, so I went shopping with my wife. Trial time – this time, 30” was not a perfect fit. It was slightly tight. I asked my wife to get some other brand. Same thing. My waist had increased by ½”.

I remembered the time during school, when I went to purchase white canvas shoes. 

I tried a size 5, it was a bit tight but the shopkeeper convinced me that it will get a little loose as I wear it.

I applied the same analogy here. 

I told my wife that it will fit better after a couple of washes.

Fast forward one more year…you guys know the drill now…

Now going for shopping seemed like going for an examination with instant result.

It was trial time again. I was in the trial room with my fingers crossed. My wife brought me a size 30 for trial. Too tight. I told her to bring me a size 32. Too loose. I had a size 30 in one hand and size 32 in another and it seemed like both were laughing at my size 31 waist.

It was the most awkward phase of my life. 

How many of you have been in this phase sometime in your life? 

Be it waist size or shoe size. It is a helpless situation.

Luckily my wife had a solution for this. 

She said we could stich the clothes. 

She was right. 

The matter was resolved for the time being. 

After a few weeks of regret, I told myself that I should fight back. 

So I started walking, running, YOGA, swimming, cycling…nothing lasted for more than a week. 

I kept trying and kept losing interest. 

Even with this inconsistent efforts I lost ½” by the year end. 

And then with consistent efforts I lost another ½” in another year.

As always we end our projects with learnings or here in this case the moral of the story is:

There is a lot of time spent in worrying about the waist.

The current state; any increased future state; wont ever get back to the past state etc…

Maintaining our waist demands a lot of time and energy. Are you willing to waste time on your waist?

P.S.: The canvas shoes analogy, I made a friend in std 10, he happened to be the nephew of the owner of the shoe store. I narrated him my story of size 5 and Out of curiosity asked him “ your uncle didn’t even let me try size 6?” to this he plainly replied “they must be out of size 6” #lifelonglesson. Thank you.